"Of course, there is a place for the personality ethic, but character forms the foundation. Personality ethics need to be rooted in character. The personality ethic can be seen as fake or as a fake it til you make it image if it's not rooted in character. Sometimes people apply these personality techniques in order to use and manipulate people to meet their own goals and agendas. In the long run, people will eventually see through this duplicity… but you can't fake character ethic." - WISDOM FOR LIFE

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Summary

This book, the 7 habits of highly effective people by Stephen Covey, has touched millions of people's lives – it's one of, if not THE, most well know success books out there. There are literally 1000's of success books out there, so why should this one be any different? Stephen Covey researched the last 200 years of success literature and found something interesting.

In the last 50 years, most of the books have been focused on the personality ethic - Things like public image, how you dress, how you perform in social interactions, positive mental attitude, skills and techniques to get people to behave in certain ways. These books focus on how to appear rather than how to actually be. 

The 7 habits of highly effective people takes an inside out approach – it focuses on the character ethic rather than the personality ethic.

1. be proactive
2. begin with the end in mind
3. put first things first
4. think win win 
5. seek first to understand then to be understood
6. synergy
7. sharpen the saw

Today’s video is going to be on "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey. Now, this book has touched millions of people's lives. It's one of the most well-known success books out there. There are literally thousands of successful books out there so why should this one be any different? Stephen researched the last 200 years of successful literature and found something quite interesting.

In the last 50 years, most of the books have been focused on the personality ethic, things like public image how you dress, how you perform in social interactions, positive mental attitude skills and techniques to get people to behave in certain ways.These books focus on how to appear rather than how to actually be. The seven Habits of Highly Effective People takes an inside-out approach. It focuses on the character ethic rather than the personality ethic. In the words of Stephen Covey, almost all the literature in the first 150 years or so focused on what could be called the character ethic as the foundation for success, like integrity, humility, temperance, courage and justice, patience, industry, simplicity, modesty and the Golden Rule. The character ethic taught that there are basic principles of effective living and that people can only experience true success in enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles into their basic character.

Greatness starts from the inside out. Of course, there is a place for personality ethic but character forms the foundation. Personality ethics need to be rooted in character. The personality ethic can be seen as fake or as a fake it till you make an image if it's not rooted in character. Sometimes people apply these personality techniques in order to use and manipulate people to meet their own goals and agendas. In the long run, people will eventually see through this duplicity. But, you can't fake character ethic. If you're still a little fuzzy on this concept picture and iceberg, the personality ethic is above the water. The character ethic is below the water, it forms a foundation, it's where the greatest impact over the long term is, it's where you sow the seeds of greatness. The problem is that people don't focus on the foundation, they focus on the appearance. They're looking for shortcuts and quick fixes. But, there are no shortcuts, there is no quick fix program. But, if you endure and apply the following habits, you will absolutely achieve your goals and it will help you develop better relationships.

A bit of a long intro there, but necessary to understand the principles this book is based on. So, let's jump into the seven Habits.

Habit one is be proactive. Let's look at something called the circle of concern and the circle of influence. The circle of concern consists of all the things that are out of your control, like the weather, politics, what people think of you, the economy, other people's mistakes and other people's opinions. The circle of influence consists of all the things you can control: your attitude, what you read, what skills you learn, your enthusiasm, how you spend your free time, and who you spend it with, your habits and hobbies and so on. With that said there are two ways to live life: You can either be reactive or proactive.

Reactive people complain about the things that are out of their control. Their environment and outside forces affect their performance and their mood. Additionally, they don't take action or ownership of the things that they can control. And then you have the other type of person, they are proactive. This type of person realizes that their decisions determine their life, not their conditions. Proactive people don't complain about things they can't control. Additionally, they take action to improve the things that they can control. Proactive people understand that, sometimes, we may not have complete control over a certain situation, but we can control how we respond to a situation.

So, let's look at an example of how a proactive and a reactive person responds to the same situation. Two people take a test and then they both fail. One blames a teacher and gives up, the other takes responsibility and ownership, studies harder and tries to improve themselves. The reactive person complains about how bad the teacher is, and the proactive person asks “what can I do?”. They look at themselves first, instead of blaming and complaining.

Don't focus on what you can't control. Focus on what you can control. Take responsibility and keep in mind as you become more proactive within your circle of influence, it grows bigger, you bring more power into your life. Even if you only implement one habit out of these seven habits, I'm going to go over make it this one. This one alone can have a huge impact on your life. In life, you either act or you're acted upon.

Habit two is begin with the end in mind. All things are created twice. The first time it's created is in your mind and the second time is in the real world. So, let's look at how it's created in the mind first. To get where you want to go in life, you need to have a map. You need to determine your life goals, your destination, and you also need a plan on how to get there. Otherwise, you're just aimlessly wandering around in life. So, where do you want to go in life? Have you sat down and clearly defined the type of life you want? Do you know where you want to be in 5, 10 or 15 years from now. If not, then you're wandering around aimlessly at the whims of everyone else.

Let me put it another way. Picture your life like a ladder, you're climbing up the ladder of life working hard doing the right things and making progress up the ladder, month by month, year by year. Then, as you get towards the top of the ladder, you suddenly realize your ladder was leaning against the wrong wall the whole time. A lot of people live their lives like this. They don't have a vision for their life. They don't have what Steven calls a personal mission statement. You need to make a conscious effort of where you want to end up, or other people will control your life and where you end up going.

This is why this habit is so important. You need to figure out your destination first and then work towards it. If you're not really clear on what your purpose is, then think about the end of your life. How do you want to be remembered? Why do you want to be remembered for that? Find your purpose and make sure it has a strong wire behind it, not something like having a lot of money, but something that you have a real passion for. You weren't put here to make money buy stuff and then die. You have something to contribute to the world, you can add value, so find out what that is. Instead of asking what life has to offer you, ask what you can offer life?

So, take the time to think about your purpose, think about your values and write them down. Your personal mission statement can be as simple as Will Smith's which is “I want the world to be better because I was here”. Very simple, and what you do is you keep this mission statement at the forefront of your mind and whenever you make a decision you see if it's in alignment with that mission statement. This will keep you on track. You know go crazy create your ideal life and your legacy. It can be whatever you want. Dream big and don't hold yourself back. Most of the time, the thing that holds us back is ourselves, so don't let self-doubt get in the way. Realize that anything is possible, so define how you want your life to be right now. Don't let the past or anything else hold you back. You write the script to your life, no one else. You are the programmer.

All right, habit 3 is to put first things first. If habit 2 says you're the programmer, then habit 3 is write the program. This is the second creation as you learn in habit two all things are created twice, first in the mind and then in reality. Habit three, “putting first things first”, is where you take the steps and actions required to make your vision a reality. This is where we begin examining our daily routines and habits. Ask yourself what's the most important thing for you in this moment. It's probably your significant other, finishing school, improving your health or your family, right? It's not checking Facebook or Instagram, so why do we spend so much time doing these useless things, right? We need to get into the habit of putting first things first. Taking the time to focus on what really matters and focus our efforts on what's going to get us to where we want to be in life. Really, start questioning the scripts and the habits in your life.

We've all fallen into the vicious cycle of waking up late, eating poorly, leaving late for work, rushing through traffic in a state of stress, being unorganized at work and being pulled in a thousand different directions and then getting home eating fast food because you're tired and then fall asleep late because you watched some dude TV show and then you wake up late the next day to do it all over again. This is the perfect example of not putting first things first.

We could all use a little help in time management Department right? And, we all have a lot to do. So, how do we manage time effectively? Usually, we all write things down on a giant to-do list and we tend to go in order from top to bottom with no real priorities. This is not the way. Or you schedule things on a calendar, which is a decent practice, but with one interruption, our whole game can be thrown off. You could also try daily planning based on priorities, but, again, one interruption or emergency can mess it all up. Most of us fall into this time management scheme.

But, there is another way. The best way is to categorize things by urgency and importance. Stephan developed a cool quad chart for this. And you need to categorize items in the following. Quadrant one is urgent and important. This is putting out fires emergencies and kind of the reactive mindset. Quadrant two is not urgent and important. These are things like your health, exercising spending time with your family, relationships. we need to put more focus here. These are often neglected activities, and this is where success in balance and growth are found. Quadrant three activities are not important and urgent. So, most of us spend our time here, right? Interruptions, some meeting some phone calls and other people's emergencies. And, then, quadrant four are not important and not urgent. These are a waste of time, busy work some emails some phone calls and so on.

Do you remember the example above of the reactive and unorganized person? Now, let's look at an example of someone who puts first things first. Joe wakes up early exercises for 30 minutes, eats a healthy breakfast, leaves early for work and has a nice smooth and joyful ride. Then Joe works on the important and not urgent things in quad two and he works on emergencies, if needed, and then he delegates quadrant 3 activities and rejects quadrant 4 tasks. Joe takes a nice relaxing lunch and thinks about the rest of his day and plans his night. At the end of the work date he closes out tasks and plans things for the next day. He gets home and prepares a healthy meal and then maybe reads before bed. He seems to have more time to think and reflect about his life and he makes plans on where he wants to end up and who he wants to be. Basically, what we did in habit to begin with the end in mind, I mean, if you look at these two different examples, it's a huge difference, right? No one on their deathbed wishes they spent more time at work or check their Facebook more often right? So, again, focus on what's important to you and make it a priority. Commit yourself to it.

Now the first three habits be proactive, begin with the end of mind and put first things first are about moving you from being dependent to being independent. They're about self-mastery. They help you become more effective as an individual by developing inner strength character purpose and values.

The next three habits, which I'll cover in the next video, move you from being independent to being interdependent. Interdependence is the highest level of what Stephen Covey calls the maturity continuum. The maturity continuum consists of three levels: dependence, independence and interdependence. Dependence is like the relationship between the child and a mother, or even sometimes between a boss and employee if the employee lacks their own inner strength, values and purpose. It's the attitude of you to move from dependence to independence. You have to nail those first three habits be proactive, begin with the end in mind and put first things first. This is the attitude of “I”.

Most people think independence is where it's at, right? They think this is the highest level, but, in fact, interdependence is the highest level. Interdependence is where you think like a team. Think family. Think marriage. A team mentality. We accomplish what we want together. It's the attitude of “we”.

We can combine our talents and our abilities to make something even better. Habits four through six will help you deal with people, how to read the needs of people, how to empathize and how to cooperate. And keep in mind, you have to move from being dependent to independent before you can truly become interdependent. So, go ahead and check out part 2 of this summary, where you can learn about habits four through seven. I'll link to it right here.

The next 3 habits in the 7 habits of highly effective people by Stephen Covey, move you from being independent to being interdependent. Interdependence is the highest level level of what stephen covey calls the maturity continuum. The maturity continuum consists of 3 levels.. dependence, independence, and interdependence.

Dependency is like the relationship between a child and mother, or even sometimes between a boss and employee (if the employee lacks their own inner strength, values, and purpose). It's the attitude of you.

To move from dependence to independence, you have to nail the first 3 habits – be proactive, begin with the end in mind, and put first things first.. This is the attitude of I. Most people think independence is where it's at.. they think it's the highest level, but in fact, interdependence is the highest level...

WISDOM FOR LIFE, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Summary, accessed on August 28, 2020.